(Agent) Are you a doctor? (Man) Yes.
(Woman) He's an actor.
(Agent) We're very popular with actors.
Have I seen you in anything?
I did Hamlet a while back, didn't I?
And then we did The Sandpiper.
He was in Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross
and a lot of TV commercials.
- That's where the money is. - And the artistic thrills, too.
Seven, Diego.
The apartments have been broken into fours, fives and sixes.
Seven-E is a four, originally the back part of a 10.
The original dining room is its living room,
and two servants' rooms together are a dining room or second bedroom.
Do you have children?
(Rosemary) Er... We plan to.
(Piano playing scales)
We must oil that gate, Diego.
This way, please.
The previous tenant, Mrs Gardenia, died a few days ago,
so nothing has been moved yet.
The furniture could be had practically for asking.
Did she die in the apartment?
Oh, no, no, no. In a hospital.
She'd been in a coma for weeks.
- After you, please. - Thank you.
She was very old and passed away without waking.
I'd be grateful to go that way myself when the time comes.
Oh, no, no, no. Not in the apartment, no.
She was chipper right to the end.
One of the first women lawyers in New York.
- Did a little gardening, too. - She was quite a woman.
(Agent) Oh, closet. Plenty of closets.
A nice view of the park.
(Agent) Very nice view. (Guy) Yeah.
This room would make a lovely nursery.
Yes. Yellow and white wallpaper would brighten it.
- What are all these things? - Herbs, mostly.
(Agent) Nice large bathroom.
- Mint, basil. - Yeah. No marijuana?
(Agent) The master bedroom.
- Oh, yes. - Back at the hallway again.
There.
- Oh... Oh, Guy! - Yeah.
- Ohh! - The fireplace works, of course.
- Great. - Oh!
It's a wonderful apartment. I love it!
She's trying to get you to lower the rent.
We'd raise it if we were allowed.
Apartments with this kind of charm...
Why, that's odd.
There's a closet behind that secretary.
I'm su... I'm sure there is.
Yeah. Oh, I think you're right.
She moved it. It used to be there.
Give me a hand, will you?
I see now why she went into a coma. (Laughs)
She couldn't have lifted it by herself. She was 89.
Should we open it? Maybe her son should.
I'm authorised to show the apartment.
- Well! - Whatever she locked in got out.
Perhaps she didn't need five closets.
Why cover up her vacuum cleaner and her towels?
I don't suppose we'll ever know.
Maybe she was becoming senile. Anything else?
What about laundry facilities?
It's bigger than the other one.
Yeah. It's more expensive, too, you know?
It's better located.
Yeah, I could walk to all the theatres from here.
Oh, Guy, let's take it, please?
That living room could be... Oh, please!
OK. We get out of the other lease, OK.
I was tempted to write that you were drug addicts.
Instead, I decided to lie and say you were wonderful.
- You're great, Hutch. - Could I talk you out of it?
- He's pulling your leg. - Indeed I'm not.
That looks great.
You know the Bramford had rather an unpleasant reputation?
It's where the Trench sisters conducted their dietary experiments
and Keith Kennedy held his parties.
Adrian Marcato lived there, too...
- Trench sisters? - Adrian Marcato?
The Trench sisters were two Victorian ladies. They ate young children.
- Lovely. - Marcato practised witchcraft.
He made quite a splash by announcing he'd conjured up the living devil.
People attacked and nearly killed him in the lobby of the Bramford.
You're joking?
Later, after the Keith Kennedy business, the house was half empty.
I didn't know that Marcato lived there.
World War II filled the house up again.
(Rosemary) Terrific.
(Guy) The house? (Rosemary) The lamb.
It's called Black Bramford.
Awful things happen in every apartment house.
This house has a lot of unpleasant happenings.
In '59, a dead infant was found, wrapped in newspaper in the basement.
Mmm! You really rouse my appetite.
Have some more wine.
(Woman next door) Roman!
Bring me in some root beer when you come!
(Guy chuckles)
Hey, these are shelves.
Hey... let's make love.
(Creaking)
Shh!
I think I hear the Trench sisters chewing.
Oh!
(Rosemary) Straight up to the left.
(TV) 'Here in Daytona, Florida, it's the 250cc 100-mile classic
'with Yamaha leading and winning it, taking seven of the top 10 places.
'lt's the third straight year for Yamaha, a clean sweep.
'Yamaha is race-bred from champions, with a model for all kinds of riding.
'You should discover the swingin' world of Yamaha. Have a ride.
- 'Come on. Get on.' - 'OK, come on. Let's go.'
Look.
It's great.
I'm sorry. I thought you were Victoria Vetri, the actress.
I'm sorry.
That's OK. A lot of people think I'm Victoria.
- I don't see any resemblance. - Do you know her?
No.
- My name's Terry Gionoffrio. - Hi, I'm Rosemary Woodhouse.
- Uh... we're new tenants. - I'm staying with the Castevets.
I'm their guest, sort of.
Our apartment was the back of yours.
You took the old lady's apartment. Mrs, uh...
- Yeah, uh... Gardenia. - Gardenia. Yeah.
She used to grow all kinds of herbs for her to cook with.
- I saw them. - Now she grows her own.
- (Buzzing) - Excuse me, I have to add softener.
- What does your husband do? - He's an actor.
- What's his name? - Guy Woodhouse.
He was in Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross, and he does a lot of TV.
Gee, I watch TV all day long. I bet I've seen him.
(Glass shatters)
- Wow! - Ooh!
- I hate this basement. - Yeah, me, too.
It gives me the creeps.
Let's come down together and do our laundry.
That'd be great.
I have a good luck charm. It might work for both of us.
- That's beautiful. - Isn't it?
- Mmm! - Mrs Castevet gave it to me.
It's supposed to be good luck. It's got some stuff inside.
(Laughs) I'm not mad about the smell either. I hope it works.
It's beautiful. I've never seen anything like it.
European. The Castevets are the most wonderful people in the world.
- They picked me up off the sidewalk. - You were sick?
I was starving, on dope and a lot of other things.
I'm like the daughter they never had.
At first, I thought they wanted me for sex,
but they're like real grandparents.
I'm glad there are people like that.
You hear so much about apathy, people who are afraid of getting involved.
I'd be dead now without them. That's a fact. Dead or in jail.
You don't have any family that could help?
A brother in the navy.
(Woman) It's impossible to be 100% sure!
If you want my opinion, we shouldn't tell her! That's my opinion!
That must be the partition.
That's the back part of the original 10 with a dining room,
and there's... a closet here, and then there's a closet over here.
(Chanting)
(Horns honking and people talking)
(Man) Stay back, huh, lady?
(Police radio)
Get back, please. There's nothing to see.
Get back, will you, please?
(Rosemary gasps)
- Jesus. - Get back!
- We know her. - What's her name?
- Terry. - Terry what?
Ro? What was her name again? Terry what?
Uh... I don't remember. An Italian name.
She was staying with some people named Castevet.
Yeah. We got that already.
Short and sweet. She stuck it to the window with a Band-Aid.
- Come on. Get back. - Theresa Gionoffrio.
(Policeman) Move on! Move on!
- You knew her? - Only slightly.
- Come on, Ro, baby. Let's go. - Oh! Here they come.
(Policeman) You folks the Castevets?
We are.
You have a Theresa Gionoffrio living with you?
We do. Has there been an accident?
Brace yourself for some bad news.
She's dead. Jumped out of the window.
That's not possible! It's a mistake!
Artie, you want to let these folks take a look, please?
I knew this would happen.
She got deeply depressed every three weeks or so.
I told my wife about it, but she pooh-poohed me.
That doesn't mean she killed herself.
She was a happy girl, no reason for self-destruction.
- Must've been cleaning the windows. - At midnight?
- Why not? Maybe she was! - Is that her handwriting?
- Yeah. - Definitely. Absolutely.
I'll see this gets back to you when we're done.
I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. She was so happy.
- Who's the next-of-kin? - She didn't have anybody, only us.
- (Rosemary) She had a brother. - Did she?
- In the navy. - (Mrs Castevet) News to me.
- (Policeman) Where is he stationed? - I don't know.
She mentioned him to me in the laundry room. I'm Rosemary Woodhouse.
Uh, we're in seven-E.
I feel just the way you do, Mrs Castevet.
She seemed so happy and full of...
She said wonderful things about you, how grateful she was.
Thank you.
Know anything else about this brother?
- No, I don't. - It should be easy to find him.
- I'm so stunned. I'm so sorry. - It's such a pity.
Well, thank you.
(Siren in distance)
Sometimes I wonder how come you're the leader of anything.
(Mrs Castevet, through wall) Don't tell me what Laura-Louise said.
If you'd listened we wouldn't have had to do this!
We'd have been set to go now instead of having to start from scratch!
I told you not to tell her in advance!
I told you she wouldn't be open-minded!
I told Sister Veronica about the windows,
and she withdrew the school from the competition.
(Doorbell buzzes)
- Hello. How are you? - Fine. May I come in?
Of course. Please do.
I came to thank you for saying those nice things.
Poor Terry. We thought we'd failed her, though her note said we hadn't.
You'll never know how helpful it was in such a shock moment.
So I do thank you. Roman does, too. Roman's my hubby.
I'm glad I could help.
Well, she was cremated yesterday. We got to forget and go on.
It won't be easy. We don't have any children. You?
- No. - Well, there you have it.
Ohh! Oh... that's a nice... Look how you put the table!
Now, isn't that interesting?
- I saw it in a magazine. - Oh, my. Nice paint job.
- I know. - Ahh... well.
That's nice. What is that? The TV room?
Only temporarily. It's going to be a nursery.
- You're pregnant? - Not yet.
I hope to be as soon as we're settled.
You're young, you ought to have lots.
- We plan to have three. - I'm dying to see the apartment.
- The woman before was a friend. - Terry said.
Did she? You had some long talks in the laundry room.
- Only one. - Oh! Oh, my goodness!
(Laughs) It looks so much brighter.
What do you pay for a chair like that?
Uh, oh... Um, I'm not sure, really. I think about $200.
- What does your hubby do? - He's an actor.
I knew it! I said it to Roman yesterday. He's so good-looking.
- What movies was he in? - No movies.
Two plays called Luther and Nobody Loves An Albatross, and a lot of TV.
Rosemary, I got a two-inch thick sirloin steak defrosting now.
Why don't you and Guy have supper with us?
- What do you say? - Oh, we couldn't.
- Why not? - No, really, that's very kind...
It would be a real help to us. First night we'll be alone since...
Are you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble?
Honey, if it was trouble, I wouldn't ask.
All right, count on us. I'll check with Guy.
You tell him I won't take no for an answer!
- Oh! Here's your mail! Oh, ads. - Thank you.
(Piano playing scales)
(Door closes)
Yoo-hoo!
- Hey. - Mm!
Donald Baumgart got that part.
(Rosemary) It's a bad play.
Even if it folds out of town it's the kind of part that gets noticed.
Mrs Castevet was here,
to thank me for what I said about Terry.
She is the nosiest person I've ever seen.
You know, she asked the prices of things?
- No kidding. - She invited us for dinner tonight.
I told her I'd have to check with you, but it would probably be OK.
Jesus! We don't have to, do we, honey?
I think they're lonely.
We get friendly with them and we'll never get rid of them.
I told her she could count on us.
- You don't have to sulk about it. - I'm not sulking.
I see exactly what you mean.
- Hell, we'll go. - No, no. What for?
- We'll go! - No. Not if you don't want to.
That sounds so phoney, but I really mean it, really, I do.
Be my good deed for the day.
OK, but only if you want to.
And we'll make it clear that it's just for this one night, all right?
Perfect timing! Come in.
Roman's fixing some vodka blushes. I'm glad you could come, Guy.
I'm fixing to tell everybody that I knew you when.
Dinner isn't ready just yet but sit down there.
You'll be very comfortable.
I seem to have overfilled the glasses.
No, no, no. Don't get up.
Generally, I pour these precise, don't I, Minnie?
- Watch the carpet. - But I've made too much,
and rather... Oh, there we are. No, no. Sit down.
- Mrs Woodhouse... - Thank you.
- Mr Woodhouse, uh, vodka blush? - Yes, thanks.
- Have you ever tasted one? - No, I haven't.
- It looks delicious. - They're popular in Australia.
- Now, welcome to our home! - Hear, hear.
- Cheers. - Mm.
(Coughing)
- The carpet! - Oh, dear.
Brand-new carpet. This man is so clumsy!
Do you come from Australia?
Oh, no, I'm from right here in New York.
I've been there, though. I've been everywhere.
You name a place and I've been there. Go ahead, name a place.
(Guy) Fairbanks, Alaska!
I've been there, all over Alaska...
Fairbanks, Juneau, Anchorage,
Nome, Sitka, Seward.
- Went there in '38... - Where are you from?
(Both) Well...
I'm from Omaha. Guy's from Baltimore.
(Roman) They're good cities.
Do you travel for business?
Both. I'm 79, and I've been going one place or another since I was 10.
- I've been everywhere. - (Ding)
Ah! Steak's ready. Don't rush your drinks.
Roman, take your pill!
(Roman) No pope visits a city where the newspapers are on strike.
(Minnie) I heard he's going to wait till it's over.
(Guy) That's showbiz.
That's exactly what it is. All the costumes, rituals - all religions.
- (Minnie) We're offending Rosemary. - No, no.
- Are you religious, my dear? - I was brought up a Catholic.
- (Minnie) You looked uncomfortable. - He is the Pope.
You don't have to respect him because he pretends he's holy.
(Guy) That's a good point.
What they spend on robes and jewels!
A good picture of the hypocrisy behind organised religion
was given in Luther. Did you ever get to play that leading part, Guy?
Weren't you Albert Finney's understudy?
- No. - Well, that's strange.
I remember being struck by a gesture you made
and checking to see who you were.
- Um, what gesture was that? - I'm not sure, it was a reaction...
Oh, I did a thing with my arms when Luther was having a fit.
- It was a kind of involuntary reach. - That's it!
- It had a wonderful authenticity. - Oh, come on.
No, I mean it. My father was a theatrical producer.
My early years were spent in the company
of Mrs Fiske, Forbes-Robertson, Modjeska.
- Guy? - Oh, yes, please.
You have an interesting inner quality. It's in your TV work, too.
It should take you a long way,
provided that you get those initial breaks.
Are you preparing for a show now?
Um, I'm up for a couple of parts.
- I can't believe you won't get them. - I can.
I'd like to have a spice garden some day.
I guess I'm a country girl at heart.
- You come from a big family? - Three brothers and two sisters.
- Your sisters married? - Mm-hm.
- They have children? - One has two, the other has four.
- You'll have lots of children, too. - We're fertile.
- I've got 16 nieces and nephews. - Oh, my goodness!
Would you like me to wash and you can wipe for a while?
Oh, no. That's fine, dear.
(Minnie) Roman, stop bending Guy's ears with your stories.
He's only listening to be polite.
No, it's very interesting, Mrs Castevet.
Minnie! I'm Minnie, he's Roman, OK?
- OK? - OK.
(Roman) OK! Terrific. Just terrific.
Goodbye, darling. Goodbye. It was lovely, bless you.
- Minnie! - Minnie, ya great kid, ya.
Ooh! How about that steak?!
And the cake! How did you eat two pieces?
Out of politeness. That's how, out of politeness.
(Rosemary laughs) Only three dinner plates that matched.
Shh!
- And all that beautiful silver. - Maybe they'll will it to us.
- Oh! - Yeah.
- Guess what's in their bathroom? - A bidet.
- "Jokes For The John." - No.
A book on a hook right next to the toilet.
Roman's stories are pretty damned interesting, though.
I'm going to go over there again tomorrow night and hear some more.
- You are? - Yeah. He asked me. Do this for me.
I thought we were seeing Joan and Dick Jellico.
- Was that definite? - Not definite.
We'll see them next week.
You don't have to come along if you don't want to.
- You can stay here. - Yeah, I think I will stay here.
He knew Henry Irving, too. I mean, really interesting, you know?
Why did they take their pictures down?
What do you mean?
Their pictures. They took them down.
Hooks in the wall and clean spaces.
- The one picture there doesn't fit. - I didn't notice.
(Soft music plays)
(Doorbell buzzes)
Hi, dear. This is my dear friend Laura-Louise McBurney,
lives up on 12. This is Guy's wife, Rosemary.
Hello, Rosemary!
Laura-Louise just met Guy. Could we come in?
- Uh, of course. Please do. - There you are. Go ahead.
Look what they got. There's a light.
Oh, gosh!
- Isn't that beautiful! - It came this morning.
- Are you all right, dear? - Oh, I'm fine.
It's the first day of my period.
And you're up and around? On my first day, I couldn't do anything!
Dan gave me gin through a straw to kill the pain.
Girls today take things more in their stride.
They're healthier than us, thanks to vitamins.
- What are those things, seat covers? - Cushions for the window seats.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, before I forget,
- this is for you from Roman and me. - For me?
It's just a little present is all. For moving in.
- There's no reason... - It's real old, over 300 years.
It's lovely.
The green inside is tannis root. That's for good luck.
It's lovely, but I... I can't accept it.
You already have. Put it on.
You'll get used to the smell before you know it.
Yeah, go on.
(Minnie) Oh, yes.
Were his stories as interesting as last night?
Yes. Did you have a good time?
All right. I got a present.
- It was Terry's. - No kidding? Kind of pretty, though.
Aren't you going to wear it?
It smells. There's stuff in it called tannis root from her greenhouse.
Not too bad, though. (Chuckles)
Tannis, anyone?
Well, if you took it you ought to wear it.
(Telephone ringing)
Hello? Yes, this is he.
Oh, God, no.
Oh, the poor guy.
And they don't have any idea what's causing it?
Oh, my God, that's awful. That's just awful.
Yes, I would. I mean, yes, I am.
I hate to get it that way, but...
Well, you'd have to speak to my agent about that end of it.
Alan Stone.
I'm sure there won't be any problem, not as far as we're concerned.
Thank you, Mr Weiss.
Guy?
What is it?
Donald Baumgart... he's gone blind.
He woke up yesterday and he can't see.
- Oh, no. - Oh, I've got the part.
It's a hell of a way to get it.
Listen, uh... I have to get out and walk around.
Yeah, I understand. Go ahead.
Baumgart. Donald Baumgart.
It's a fascinating part. He'll be noticed.
He also has an offer for a lead in a TV series, Miami Beach.
He's suddenly very hot.
Mm, now I understand why you're so overjoyed.
Well, it's a difficult period in his life. A challenge.
I see.
You know how actors are, they're all a bit self-centred.
I'll bet even Laurence Olivier is vain and self-centred.
It's a difficult part.
He's got to work with crutches, and naturally he's preoccupied.
And he...
Well... preoccupied.
I see you had another suicide up there at Happy House.
- Didn't I tell you? - No.
It was the girl who was rehabilitated by this old couple, the Castevets.
I'm sure I told you that.
They didn't rehabilitate her very successfully.
I've been a creep.
It's from worrying if Baumgart would regain his sight.
Oh, you're bound to feel two ways about it.
I'm going to stop giving you the short end of the stick.
- You haven't been. - Yes, I have.
I've been tearing my hair out over my career.
Let's have a baby. All right?
Let's have three babies, one at a time.
A baby. You know, Mama, Dada, poo-poo. You know?
- You mean it? - Sure, I mean it.
I even figured out the right time to start, look.
- You mean it, really? - No, I'm kidding. Sure, I mean it.
Oh, Ro, honey, for God's sake, don't cry. (Laughs)
Oh, no. I won't.
Here goes nothing.
- Uh-uh! The paint! The paint! - Good grief.
Nobody, but nobody has a fire tonight.
Isn't it gorgeous? I hope we have the coldest winter ever.
(Doorbell buzzes)
Oh, shit!
(Minnie) Hi, Guy! How are ya?
No, don't let her in. Not tonight.
(Guy) Oh, that's very kind of you.
(Voices continue indistinct)
(Guy) Are you sure you won't come in?
(Minnie) No! I don't want to bother you.
(Door closes)
Good. Good.
Who says there's nothing to ESP?
We shall have dessert after all!
Mousse au chocolat. Or as Minnie calls it... chocolate mouse.
I was afraid she'd stay all evening.
She just wanted us to try it.
(lmitating Minnie) Her speciality.
It was sweet of her, really. We shouldn't make fun of her.
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
Mm! It's good.
(Record finishes and clicks off)
It has an undertaste.
A chalky undertaste.
(Guy) I don't get it.
That's silly, there is no undertaste.
(Rosemary) There is.
Come on. The old bat slaved all day. Now eat it.
- I don't like it. - It's delicious.
- Here, you have mine. - There's always something wrong.
If it's going to turn into a big thing...
(Guy) If you can't stand it, don't eat it.
Mm! It's delicious(!) No undertaste at all.
Would you turn the record over, please?
(Spoon clatters)
(Romantic music playing)
There, Daddy, do I get a gold star?
You get two of them. I'm sorry if I was stuffy.
You were.
It's the Pope at Yankee Stadium!
(Guy) Christ, what a mob!
(TV) 'Everywhere the Pope has been he's received this type of reception.
'As one man put it this afternoon,
"'Perhaps we are being undignified, but this is a special day."'
That's a great spot for my Yamaha commercial. (Laughs)
(TV) 'Here's a brief summary of today's historic happenings.
'Pope Paul VI arrived at 9.27 am... '
(Guy) What is it?
Dizzy...
Hey.
- No wonder. All that booze. - (Rosemary chuckles)
You didn't eat anything all day before dinner, huh?
(Guy) Hey... Hey.
(Rosemary) Nice.
Sleep is what you need. A good night's sleep.
We have to make a baby.
Oh, we'll... we'll do it.
- Tomorrow. There's plenty of time. - Just a nap.
Why are you taking them off?
(Guy) To make you more comfortable.
- I am more comfortable. - Sleep, Ro.
(Rosemary) Isn't Hutch coming with us?
Catholics only, I... wish we weren't bound by these prejudices,
but, unfortunately...
(Guy) Easy, easy. You've got her too high.
Typhoon! Typhoon!
It killed 55 people in London!
(Wave crashes)
You better go down below, miss.
(Fire crackling)
(All chanting in strange language)
- (Roman) She's awake. She sees. - She don't see.
As long as she ate the mouse, she can't see nor hear. Now sing.
(Chanting continues)
(Woman) I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well.
It's only the mouse bite.
You'd better have your legs tied down in case of convulsions.
Yes, I suppose so.
(Rosemary) If it was rabid.
(Woman) If the music bothers you let me know and I'll stop it.
Oh, no, no, no. Please don't change the program on my account.
(Woman) Try to sleep. We'll be waiting up on deck.
This is no dream! This is really happening!
They tell me you have been bitten by a mouse.
Yes. That's why I couldn't come to see you.
That's all right. We wouldn't want you to jeopardise your health.
Am I forgiven, Father?
Oh, absolutely.
Hey, it's after nine.
(Moans)
- Five minutes. - I have to be at Alan's at 10.
- Eat out. - Like hell I will.
- What time is it? - It's ten after nine.
What time did I go to sleep?
You didn't go to sleep. You passed out.
From now on you get cocktails or wine, not cocktails and wine, hm?
The dreams I had.
Don't yell. I already filed them down.
I didn't want to miss baby night.
- A couple of nails were ragged. - While I was out?
It was fun, in a necrophile sort of way.
I dreamed someone was... raping me.
- I don't know, someone inhuman. - Thanks a lot!
(Guy) What's the matter? (Rosemary) Nothing.
(Guy) I didn't want to miss the night.
We could've done it this morning. Last night wasn't the only time.
(Guy) I was a little bit loaded myself, you know?
- Hello! Did ya like it? - Oh, yes.
I put too much cream de cocoa in it.
No, no. You'll have to give me the recipe.
Yeah. You going shopping? Do me a teeny favour, will ya?
Get me six eggs, a small instant Sanka.
- Right. Bye-bye. - Yeah. Ahh.
(Rosemary) We should talk about it.
- What? - The way you haven't looked at me.
- What? I've been looking at you. - You haven't.
Why, sure, I have. Now, what is it? What's the matter?
Nothing. Never mind.
- No, no. Don't say that. What is it? - Nothing.
Look, honey, I... I know I've been preoccupied with the part,
but it is important. That doesn't mean I don't love you.
It was due on Friday.
- It was? - Mm-hm.
It'll probably come tonight or tomorrow.
- Wanna bet? - Yeah.
- A quarter. You're gonna lose. - Shut up, will you?
You're getting me jumpy. It's only been two days.
When will I know?
I'll call you when I get the results.
I like to do a general examination just to know something more...
Elise Dunstan recommended you, Doctor.
How is she?
- Fine. Did you deliver the boys? - No, just the last.
- Universal haemoglobin. - Yes, Doctor.
- We went to see The Fantasticks. - Did you?
- Mm. - Did you enjoy it?
- Yeah. - Good.
(Ringing)
- Hello? - 'Mrs Woodhouse? '
- Dr Hill? - 'Congratulations.'
- Really? - 'Really.
- 'Are you there? ' - Uh, yes, um, what happens now?
'You come see me next month. Get those pills. One a day.
- 'I'll mail you hospital forms.' - Uh, when will it be?
- 'lt works out to be June 28th.' - That sounds so far away.
'lt is. One more thing, we'd like another blood sample.'
Oh, yes, of course. What for?
'The nurse didn't take enough, so would you drop by and see her? '
But I am pregnant, aren't I?
'Oh, yes, it's just for blood samp... er, blood sugar.
- 'But you're pregnant.' - I'll come in on Monday.
- 'Don't forget the pills.' - No, I won't. Goodbye, Dr Hill.
Blood sugar?
What's that?
Oh! That's great! That's just great.
- Father. - Mother.
(Chuckles)
Guy, Guy, listen.
Let's, uh, make this a new beginning, OK?
A new openness with each other, because we haven't been open.
That's true. I've been so self-centred. That's the trouble.
You know I love you, don't you, Ro?
I swear to God, I'll be as open and...
- It's my fault too. - Bull, it's mine.
Bear with me. I'll do better, you hear?
Oh, Guy.
(Laughing)
- What? - It's...
a fine way for parents to be carrying on.
Hey...
- Know what I'd love to do? - What?
Tell Minnie and Roman. Oh, I know, I know. It's...
It's supposed to be a deep, dark secret,
but I already told them we were trying.
- They were so pleased. - Tell them.
- Back in two minutes? - Mm-hm.
You're pregnant.
Another blood sample.
- Ta-da! - Now, that's what I call good news.
- Oh, honey, congratulations. - Thank you.
- Best wishes, Rosemary. - Thank you.
We're more pleased than we can say.
We didn't have any champagne but this will do.
- When are you due? - June 28th.
It'll be so exciting. You got a good doctor?
Oh, yes, very good.
One of the top obstetricians is a dear friend of ours, Abe Sapirstein.
One of the finest obstetricians in the country.
- Wasn't he on Open End? - That's right.
- Ro? - Uh... well, what about Dr Hill?
Don't worry, I'll tell him something. You know me.
I won't let you go to no Dr Hill nobody ever heard of.
The best is what you'll have! Where's your telephone?
- The bedroom. - He's a brilliant man.
- Very sensitive. - Ro, sit down, sit down.
- No, I'm fine. - Abe? Minnie.
Listen, a dear friend of ours just found out she's pregnant.
Yeah, I'm in her apartment right now.
We said you'd take care of her,
you wouldn't charge your society prices neither.
Just a minute. Rosemary, tomorrow morning at 11?
- All right. - Yeah, 11's fine, Abe.
Uh-huh. Yeah, well, you, too. No, no, no, no, not at all.
All right. Well, let's hope so. Goodbye.
- Well, there you are. - Thanks a million, Minnie.
- I don't know how to thank you. - Just have a fine, healthy baby.
My, I can't wait to tell Laura-Louise.
Oh. Uh, please don't tell anyone else, not right away.
No, she's right. There's plenty of time.
- Now, to a fine, healthy baby. - Hear, hear!
Andy. Or Susan.
Susan.
(Minnie's voice indistinct through wall)
(Police siren in distance)
(Guy moans)
Please don't read books.
No pregnancy was ever exactly like the ones in books.
And don't listen to your friends, either.
No two pregnancies are ever alike.
- Dr Hill prescribed vitamin pills. - No pills.
Minnie Castevet has a herbarium.
I'll have her make a daily drink
that'll be fresher, safer and more vitamin-rich than any pills.
Any questions, call me, night or day.
Call me, not your Aunt Fanny. That's what I'm here for.
- Here. - What's in it?
Snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails.
- But what if we want a girl? - Do you?
It would be nice if the first one were a boy.
Well, there you are.
No, really, what is in it?
- A raw egg, gelatin, herbs. - Tannis root?
Some of that along with some other things.
If you want to be stupid be non-violent stupid,
I'm in love with no one, especially not your fat wife.
I'm a hopeless cripple...
What's that?
I-I've been to Vidal Sassoon.
Don't tell me you paid for that?
Guy, I have a pain.
- Where? - Here.
- Just now? - Since Monday.
- A sharp pain. - Did you see Sapirstein?
I'm seeing him Wednesday.
This is ridiculous. Go see Sapirstein.
- Why didn't you say? - I see him Wednesday regular.
A natural expansion of the pelvis. Take some ordinary aspirin.
I was afraid it might be an ectopic pregnancy.
I thought you weren't going to read books?
- It was in the drugstore. - It just worried you.
Throw it away, please? The pains will be gone in two days.
Ectopic pregnancy (!)
I look awful.
What are you talking about? You look great.
It's that haircut that looks awful.
You want the truth, honey, that's the worst mistake you ever made.
- My God! - It's Vidal Sassoon. It's very in.
- What's wrong with you? - Do I look that bad?
Terrible! You're not on one of those Zen diets?
- No. - Then what is it?
Have you seen a doctor?
I might as well tell you. I'm pregnant.
Rubbish. Pregnant women gain weight. They don't lose it.
I don't sleep well. I have stiff joints or something, so I get a pain.
- Nothing serious. - Well, congratulations.
- You must be very happy. - Oh, I am. We both are.
- Who's your obstetrician? - Abraham Sapirstein.
Oh! He delivered two of my daughter's babies.
- He's one of the best. - When did you see him last?
- Um, yesterday. - And?
And he says it's fairly common.
- How much weight have you lost? - Uh, three pounds.
You've lost far more than that.
It's perfectly normal to lose a little at first.
Later on, I'll be gaining.
Well... we must assume Dr Sapirstein knows whereof he speaks.
He should. He charges enough.
We get bargain rates. Our neighbours are his friends.
- (Doorbell rings) - I'll go.
Stay where you are. It hurts less when I move around.
- I was just talking about you. - Favourably, I hope.
- Do you need anything? - No. Thank you for asking.
- Is Guy home already? - He won't be home till six.
- Oh. - A friend of ours is here.
Would you... would you like to meet him?
- If I won't be intruding? - No. Please come in.
Hutch, this is Roman Castevet. Edward Hutchins.
- How do you do? - Oh, how are you, sir?
I was just saying, you sent me to Dr Sapirstein.
- Rosemary told you the news? - Yes.
- She must get plenty of rest. - I was alarmed by her appearance.
She has lost some weight, but that's quite normal.
Later she'll gain, probably too much.
- So I gather. - Please sit down.
Mrs Castevet makes a vitamin drink for me from herbs she grows.
All according to Dr Sapirstein's directions.
He's suspicious of commercially prepared vitamin pills.
But they're manufactured under every imaginable safeguard.
True, but pills can sit for months on a druggist's shelf
- and lose their original potency. - I hadn't thought of that.
I like having everything natural.
I'll bet expectant mothers chewed tannis root before vitamin pills.
- Tannis root? - It's one of the herbs in the drink.
Is it an herb? Can a root be an herb?
- You don't mean anise or orrisroot? - No, tannis.
- Hmm. - Look.
It's good luck, too.
Eww! Ha.
Doesn't look like, uh, root matter,
more like mould or fungus of some kind.
- Is it ever called any other name? - Not to my knowledge, no.
Tannis. I must look it up in the encyclopaedia.
- What a pretty holder or charm. - The Castevets gave it to me.
You seem to be taking better care of Rosemary than her own parents.
We're very fond of her. And Guy. Now excuse me, I'll have to go.
- My wife is waiting. - It's nice to have met you.
Oh, don't bother, Rosemary. We'll meet again, I'm sure.
I just noticed he has pierced ears.
Pierced ears and piercing eyes. What's she like?
Nosy. Funny.
Guy's gotten very close to them.
I suppose they've become sort of parent figures for him.
- And you? - I... I don't know.
- (Key in lock) - Sometimes they're too friendly.
Hey, what a surprise. How are you, Hutch? Good to see you.
- You're the surprise. What happened? - They had a rewrite.
- Stay where you are. Nobody move. - Would you like some coffee?
Love some!
- Loot! - Congratulations are in order.
- Wonderful, isn't it? - When's the baby due?
June 28th. Dr Sapirstein delivered two of Hutch's grandchildren.
- Really? - Mm.
I met your neighbour. Roman Castevet.
Oh, did you? Funny old duck, isn't he?
- He has pierced ears. - You're kidding?
No, I saw.
We haven't seen you lately, but I'm so busy and Ro's pregnant